Hello the two people who probably read this, lol.
I am going to make a list or two, just to keep me sane since I am filled with boredom after work and since Justin once again wont be home because he works late 3 times throughout the week.
Things I am afraid of:
*Getting another job, because working at Bjs is the stable thing in my new life, that I am good at and understand. I know I can request off whenever and however long I want, which is nice because my mom can visit and I dont have to worry about figuring out the time off.
*I am afraid of new things, and I don't know where it came from. I like having a steady schedule, even though I constantly complain i want to do something different. Its like if my day isnt like normal, I kind of get thrown off track and even sort of nervous like something will go wrong. Its so strange, because I used to be the one who loved going out late and doing crazy things.
*I am afraid of getting into a car accident, cancer, anything that could possibly kill me or others. First off I am too young and worry I wont live to be a mother, or do things I always wanted to do, like go to Hawaii, or have a house and maybe even money :P lol. And if anything happened to the people I love, (and its happened before), I would feel unbelievably incomplete.
*I am afraid of looking stupid, ditzy, ridiculous, anything since I get so embarassed. Its funny how I dont care what people think when it comes to my opinions, but my actions I am constantly worried of people rolling there eyes at me.
Things that make me happy(temporary and permanent):
*Food, from italian to dessert
*Cooking, and it coming out good
*doing makeup, whether its my own or others
*pictures, looking back at certain memories always brings a smile to my face
*singing, acting, dancing like a white girl-you name it.
*reading, especially if its a book that I cant look away from.
*laughing with Justin, whether its him being silly or just both of us for no apparent reason other than that we just love each other
*decorating, and buying things for our apartment. I love walking into our apartment and it feels complete, and like a home should.
*Wine, though that is a temporary... if its sparkling than I probably have a smile on my face.
*my dogs, they can be absolute shitheads sometimes but the feeling I get when I look at them, puts a warm feeling in my heart and it doesnt go away. I couldnt imagine them not in this house.
*When I am not as white as a ghost and have a little tan, so I wont go out embarrassed in shorts lol.
*Last but not least, the important part...my friends and family.
Here are some ridiculous pictures of me I scrambled up...because.
What are you afraid of or what makes you happy?